Having monthly tabs at restaurants and bars was quite common on Bequia “back in the day” – credit/debit cards and ATMs hadn’t yet made an appearance on the island, and lines at the bank were onerous to say the least. It was much easier for customers to sign their bills and pay a lump sum at the end of the month, and, in most cases, this charge system worked. I hated having to ask anyone tardy in paying to settle up, but fortunately those customers were few and far between.
However, I found if nearly impossible to collect from a certain home-owner on the island. She would arrive in the afternoon after the lunch rush, wearing fancy clothes and a large hat, and sit in solitary splendor at the same table. Her arrival usually coincided with my departure for a much-needed afternoon nap, but I knew that my staff would take good care of her in my absence. The lady, although she had never asked for charging privileges, always signed her bills, bills that hadn’t been settled for quite a few months.
This tardiness irked me. The bills were mailed at the end of every month, surely the lady knew her account was in arrears? Her balance was quite high for a single diner, but the bottle of red wine she always ordered along with her chicken pita sandwich was the culprit, not the food! She and her husband didn’t have a phone, but surely they collected their mail and knew that payment was long overdue? The time had come to revoke her signing privileges, and I duly informed my staff that she could no longer charge her meals until the bills had been settled.
The next time the lady came to the Pizzeria, my waiter Mikey informed her before she ordered that she would have to pay cash for her lunch. On being asked WHY, he explained that her account was in arrears, and pulled the charge bills from the drawer for her to examine. After looking through the receipts the lady claimed that the signatures on the bills were all different, and therefore couldn’t possibly be hers. When Mikey assured her that she had indeed signed the bills she challenged him, stressing that many of the signatures didn’t look like hers, and how was that possible?
Looking her straight in the eye, Mikey said;
“if you wasn’t always drunk de signature might look de same.”
Well done, Mikey! Shortly thereafter I received a letter with a cheque for the outstanding amount enclosed. The letter informed me that she, the customer, had never been so insulted in her life. It went on to say that my staff had obviously been forging her signature, and that I was lucky she wasn’t taking legal action. In closing the lady promised to never step foot in the Pizzeria again, a promise she kept until the day she and her husband sold their property and left Bequia.
Good riddance to a difficult customer!