Cat And Rat

The house we rented above the Pizzeria in the early 80’s had a tiny kitchen with an impossibly small stove, but as I did little in the way of home cooking back then it served me just fine.  The counter wasn’t big enough and the fridge was a joke, but at least the kitchen had good cupboards for the plates and glasses.

During the off-season we closed the Pizzeria, it didn’t make sense to stay open and prepare food for guests that simply didn’t exist.  September and October were notoriously slow months, and pretty much every business on the Island closed until November.  It was a time for sanding, varnishing and socializing with friends, and we had many a fun party up at the house.  Owning the only VCR on the Island had made our living room a prime location, watching the same movies over and over was a big attraction back then!

Franchesca the cat moved from the Pizzeria to the house when the restaurant was closed.  She loved being around people, and once she realized that she was lacking an audience she moved up the hill.  Once the Pizzeria re-opened she would leave, and not set paw in the house until the following September. I wasn’t sure how I felt about having a cat in the house, but as she spent most of her time out-side I soon got used to having her around.

One evening several of our friends were clustered around the TV watching an old Bogart movie.  We had just finished a potluck dinner and I went to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.  Francesca kept rubbing against my leg and meowing, something she had never done before. While the coffee was brewing I opened the cupboard to get coffee cups and immediately understood Franchesca’s behavior; crouched inside the cupboard was a HUGE rat, and the cat knew it was there.  I hurriedly closed the cupboard door and ran into the living room to tell the others about the large rodent.

Mac and his friends had been smoking packaloulou as they watched the movie, and when I told them about the rat Mac got a strange gleam in his eye.  Turning to his friends he said, “watch this!”  Everyone followed Mac into the kitchen, and when I saw what he was about to do I screamed, “Mac!  No!”.  Laughing, Mac picked Franchesca up, opened the cupboard door and tossed her in. He quickly closed the door and everyone, cat, rat and people, were so quiet I could hear the clock ticking.  Suddenly there was a terrible racket, the rat screaming and the cat yowling while the plates and cups crashed about.  When all went silent again Mac opened the cupboard door, and Franchesca daintily jumped out.  When Mac peered into the cupboard to find the rat he discovered it had been torn to pieces, the cat had won the contest hands down.  Our friends applauded Franchesca as she licked at her bloodied fur, she loved attention and was basking in the praise.

I was totally pissed off.  It was a terrible thing to do to a cat, but even worse for the person left to deal with the ungodly mess in the kitchen cupboard. Perhaps if I had smoked some weed along with the others I would have applauded too!  As it was, I had to boil a kettle of water and tackle the mess while the others went back to their Bogart movie.  At least I didn’t miss much, I had watched the damn movie at least a dozen times by then!

As I wrote this story my mind drifted to Canada and that country’s recent legalization of Marijuana.  Canadian rats, be afraid!  Be very afraid!