Love is a big word. We experience it as we move through life in many different forms, from the love for a mother and father, love towards siblings and friends, and then that first flush of romantic love. The one major stumbling block we encounter is often SEX, because the act of making love with another person can very well involve more lust than actual love, and it’s hard (especially when young and inexperienced) to tell the difference between the two!
When couples get married in a church they vow to “have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part”. The bride and groom recite these words gazing at each other lovingly, but how many truly understand what they are promising? How many are strong enough, or in love enough, to spend the rest of their lives keeping such solemn vows? Many marriages end in divorce when that flush of romantic love has worn off and the blemishes appear, and I find it sad that people don’t work a little harder at keeping those wedding vows.
Bequia is a small island, and it warms my heart to see how the younger generation cares for the elderly. Love is walking your grandmother into the harbour to help with her shopping list, or taking your lame father to the beach for a sea-bath. It’s crossing the channel with your sick mother to ensure she gets medical attention. It’s also about taking your younger siblings by the hand to see that they get to school on time, or helping a friend in times of need. Love isn’t just about romance – it’s about caring for those close to your heart.
An old friend recently brought his wife to Bequia after an extended absence. They lived on the island when their children were young, and it’s nice to see them again. The wife’s memory has faded and she isn’t able to remember much anymore, and her husband’s love and devotion is admirable as he guides her along an uncertain path. This man’s love for his life-long partner has endured, and I know he will continue to cherish her no matter what the future holds because he loves her. My parents had that same enduring love for each other, I couldn’t have asked for better role models than Ron and June Armstrong!
As we get older love changes. It’s no longer just about sex and raising children, or seeking excitement together. It’s about caring, patience and companionship, it’s about being with a partner who understands your needs and weaknesses, and you theirs. Love is sitting quietly and watching the sun set at day’s end with your best friend, treasuring each moment as you grow old together. I feel blessed that I’ve lived most of my life on Bequia, and that I get to grow old in a place where people CARE.
That’s what love means to me – caring.
