The Dreaded Comment Cards

Many people yearn for a job on a cruise ship, and for good reason! Working on tourist vessels provides an opportunity to see beautiful parts of the world in luxury and style (although don’t count on a roomy cabin!) with the added bonus of getting paid for it.  Waking up at a different Caribbean or Mediterranean port each morning certainly holds appeal, the food is plentiful and, as room and board are provided, working on a cruise ship offers an opportunity to save money while traveling.

The crews on board the Wind Star and Wind Spirit were especially fortunate as the ships were luxurious and elegant, catering to a more well-heeled and discerning clientele. The lovely sailing vessels carried fewer passengers than regular cruise ships, and offered spacious cabins, delicious gourmet meals and interesting destinations. The crews were selected carefully, and as the ships’ agent I grew to know many of them well.  I came to realize that there was one particular aspect of working on board they disliked, namely the passenger comment cards filled out at the end of every cruise. Negative comments, especially those directed at particular crew members, were read by the head office personnel in Seattle, and jobs were at times terminated as a result of the comments.

Christmas was not a merry time for the crew, and I could always feel tension on board the ships during the holidays. It’s traditionally a time for families, but woe to the divorced father whose turn it was to have the children over the holidays and figured a Caribbean cruise on a Wind Star vessel was the answer! The elegant, intimate ships were not Disney, and youngsters on board were hard to keep entertained. Lonely people without family also sailed during the holidays, as well as “grinches” seeking to escape the trappings of the festive season.  It was hard to please such passengers, and they often made their discontent crystal clear, and often unfairly, when filling out the comment cards.

The Host and Hostess on board were in charge of the ships’ excursions, and they took the brunt when passengers disliked a tour. The yacht excursion to Mustique often took a beating in the comment cards if   the sea had been rough, and to hold the Host responsible for choppy waves was unfair. Some complained that their particular yacht had run out of complimentary beer and rum punch, and the host took the blame for that as well. At times passengers demanded refunds, not wanting to pay for a tour they hadn’t enjoyed, and if their money was not returned the Host got slammed. It was a real eye-opener for me when a newly- arrived Hotel Manager, the man actually in charge of the smooth running of the vessel, took the Mustique tour anonymously. He watched as the guests on board the yacht he had been assigned to guzzled beer and rum punch during the early-morning sail, and quietly observed them while they wined and dined with gusto at Basil’s Bar. He was therefore surprised later that evening when three couples who had taken the tour asked for a refund, citing seasickness due to a rough sea (the sail had been calm), not enough complimentary drinks (they drank like fish) and poor food at Basil’s Bar, where they had eaten with obvious enjoyment. The Hotel Manager stepped from his office to deal with the matter himself, and the couples were evidently quite embarrassed to discover that the single gentleman on the tour had not been a fellow passenger, and that he knew damned well they had enjoyed the Mustique Tour to the max. They did NOT get a refund!

I myself, as ship’s agent and organizer of all Bequia tours, sometimes got calls from the head office in Seattle when negative comments were being investigated. The one I like the best had to do with a morning tour on the Island that always ended with a complimentary rum punch. The complaint on the comment card had to do with the fact that the host of the tour had smelled strongly of alcohol. Well, I had to pass the comment along to the offender, and his response was;

“Well, SOMEONE has to test the rum punch!”

I totally agreed with him, it’s exactly what I had explained to the lady sitting in her sterile office in Seattle. She obviously had no idea how things are done on Bequia!

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