I had been brought up to say “please” when asking for anything, as well as “thank-you” for anything given to me, and I raised my own children in the same manner. These polite terms were often sorely lacking on Bequia, their absence was something I couldn’t help but notice over the years, and I therefore made sure that Vanessa and Rachel knew the importance of good manners from an early age.
Before Reny Hill left Bequia, she approached me at the Pizzeria to ask for my help. She and her husband Jimmy had lived on the Island for many years, and had started the Lower Bay School in an effort to improve the standard of education at the primary level. For quite a few years the little school thrived, educating young local children as well as those born abroad, and Reny did her best to ensure that the needs of all her students were met. She was a wonderful lady, caring and wise, and I respected her tremendously.
Reny asked if I could assist one of her students, the young girl obviously had a problem seeing the blackboard and most likely needed glasses. This would entail two trips to the mainland, one for testing and, if glasses were needed, another to collect them. The mother would of course need to accompany the child, so I would be paying for meals and ferries for two, testing and of course the all-important glasses. Agreeing to help, I gave Reny money to pass on to the child’s mother for the first trip to Kingstown, and when the glasses were ready I paid for those too.
My baker at the Pizzeria had mentioned that she was related to the young girl, which is how I discovered that the glasses had been collected and were now being worn to school. I had never met the child, and told my baker it would have been nice to see her wearing her new spectacles. A thank-you from the mother would have been appreciated, but I had lived on Bequia long enough to know better than to hold my breath waiting for such a thing.
My comment about seeing the spectacles was obviously passed along, because the very next day two little girls appeared at the Pizzeria, one of them proudly wearing a new pair of glasses. I stopped what I was doing to admire the spectacles, and the child assured me that she could now see everything teacher put on the blackboard clearly. Mission accomplished! I was still feeling warm and fuzzy inside when the little girl handed me a note, saying it was from her mother. Aha! My insides grew even warmer and fuzzier as I opened what I was SURE must be a thank-you note!
The note read;
Mistress. You must feed my daughter and her cousin lunch each day.
Silly me, thinking I was being handed a thank-you note! The lady had also omitted the word “please” when it came to the lunches she figured I would be happy to provide, a notion I quickly nipped in the bud. I had been willing and able to pay for the glasses, and could live without being thanked, but trying to take advantage of me was the wrong thing to do.
Manners ARE important. A simple “please” along with a smile goes a long way when asking for anything, and saying “thank-you” indicates both gratitude and respect.